Telly Tubby: Rory Cochrane does a David Caruso

How silly is this?

So it took over a year for Speed to finally die in this side of the world, so I guess it's enough time to assess whether or not leaving the show was indeed a good thing for him.

Some sources do indicate that Rory Cochrane (Tim Speedle) wanted to be written off the show to focus on his movie career. At the moment, Cochrane is slated to appear in Forearm Shiver and in Richard Linklater's film adaptation of Philip K. Dick's A Scanner Darkly. Not bad, as both films have enough promise as to not be another Jade.

Doesn't anyone see the hilarity in this? Did David Caruso talk to Cochrane before he decided to quit? How would that go?

"Rory, let me talk to you for a sec."
"It's about me leaving, innit?"
"Don't do it, Rory. Years from now, your career will be a running joke in South Park."
"I'm not you, David."
"Exactly."
"Thanks for the advice, but no thanks."

Here's betting that Cochrane'll show up in some TV cop drama before his career calls it a day.

Escort Service

Kiko tries to show the Chief Justice the way to the VIP restroom at the 6th Lecture of the Chief Justice Davide Lecture Series sponsored by the Claudio Teehankee Foundation.

Carnivores

From The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

pred·a·tor n.

1. An organism that lives by preying on other organisms.
2. One that victimizes, plunders, or destroys, especially for one's own gain.

***

You can always tell when someone's efforts at getting laid are bound for failure.

I saw this happen six months ago - in a party somewhere in Makati. Two boys were flirting (or at least trying to flirt with) a woman with impossibly long hair and an impish smile. The woman wore a little black dress that spoke volumes about its wearer, and of the possibility of it lying in a crumpled heap on the floor of some strange bedroom.

Unfortunately for the two men, the woman’s smile was mostly absent that night, appearing only every now and then to return a compliment or to relieve the boredom that comes with pointless conversation.

Having had enough (to eat/drink/listen? who knows?) the woman stood up said her goodbyes to whatever was left of the party that night, and left with the two boys in tow.

Whether or not they got laid that night with the woman in question is unknown, but I think it’s safe to assume that it was an empty proposition.

***

Biologists note that lions, despite hunting in packs, have a hunt success rate of one in four. This means that for every four kill attempts that a lion makes, it only gets its prey once.

It must be noted that in a pride of lions, the females usually do the killing, but when it comes to eating, the males come first.

***

I had been watching the earnest, if amateurish efforts of the two men, and the experienced manner by which the woman evaluated their advances with some interest when the woman came over to our table to say that she would be moving on to other things. Other people said their goodbyes, but all I could manage was a small nod. Of course it didn’t help that I had a mug of ale while greeting the woman.

“Kiko, those EYES!” said my friend Cathy when the woman was out of earshot. “You have a wife sitting right beside you.” Cathy’s eyes were rolling in what I sensed as some mild form of disgust.

“What did you say?” said the wife, in that tone usually reserved for misbehaving children. The wife then moved next to Cathy and stared at me in a manner befitting Tomás de Torquemada.

“Nothing,” I said, but I think my sheepish grin gave me away.

***

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws -
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale -
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

The Female of the Species
Rudyard Kipling

***

On Thursday evening, I found myself in what passes for the default watering hole in these parts when the rain decides to make its presence felt. Normally, time in this place is spent downing unnaturally large quantities of diet beer as fast as humanly possible. However, as I had no money on this particular Thursday (having spent it earlier on the bottomless rice offer of one particular Japanese fastfood joint), I had to get intoxicated on other things, like the libidinous talk of pretty young things.

In order to do that, effort must be expended to help reduce the level of inhibition in the women at the table where one is sitting.

This particular Thursday, I (as well as the perverts listening in around me) had the good fortune of conversing with women who had no reservations shouting about the virtues of semi-caucasian penises, and the proper way to pleasure oneself. Before the night was over, many on the table, including me, were educated on the many ways to achieve female ejaculation using a diagram hastily drawn on paper napkins.

In hindsight, (the best kind of sight according to a good friend), perhaps it was my level of inhibition being lowered. Perhaps I was the person being helped along.

***

It's too late
She's gone too far
She's lost the sun
She's come undone

Undone
The Guess Who

***

When I was in college, most of my friends were girls who were known to be easy lays. As such, most boys spend time with them, buying them precious little nothings, in the hope that their attentions would lead to a relatively easy romp in the hay. Most of the time, these boys walk away empty-handed, as my friends were not as easy as other people proclaimed.

However, when they came across a boy they’ve been wanting to bed, or if a particular boy passes a certain unspecified standard (which may be lowered by the proper application of alcohol and wit), it doesn’t take much to bring them to bed. However, if you weren’t the kind of guy they wanted to sleep with, then tough luck for you.

***

Tough luck for me, then.

Yet Another Open Forum

The text reads:

What Now? An Open Forum on Resolving the Crisis in the Presidency
July 15, 2005, 6pm, Ateneo Professional Schools Auditorium, Rockwell

Rep. Francis Escudero
Rep. Prospero Nograles
Rep. Rolando Andaya

This event is organized by the International Moot Court and Legal Profession classes of Attorney Jose Roy III.

Boredom

I thought I knew the meaning of boredom. Boy was I wrong.

I'm stuck in a class that's going nowhere. I wish I knew where the class was going, but the time I told myself I'd spend preparing for the class was spent preparing for and actually debating last Saturday that nobody watched and one that nobody cared to even attend.

According to those who organized the damned thing I finished third, which should earn me a trophy or suchlike, but when there are only three teams debating, I doubt finishing third means anything at all. It's not my fault most of the adjudicators were from college and couldn't understand how boring life is when all arguments must be devoid of any rhetoric to merit consideration.

See the language I used? My point exactly. That's how I debated last Saturday, and that dryness gave me in. It's not that I'm a normally boring and dry person, but at the time, all I wanted was for it to be over and done with.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not sourgraping. It's not like I wasn't expecting to suck. In fact, I fully expected to finish last. I was expecting my opponents to have at least one week of training and several years of debating experience. On the other hand, I had to be coerced into debating last Wednesday, and learned the rules on Friday.

At the debate, I caught up with Rosie Pie, who I hadn't seen since we were batchmates applying in UP Debate Society. I didn't get in, and she did. Most people there wanted to be lawyers from the beginning. I just stumbled into law school.

At the moment, I'm stuck in class and the lawyer up front is talking nonsense to me. I'll probably read the book (not much help, either) and draft my own reviewer much later, but for now I'm trying to be as invisible as possible.

Great. We've moved on. The book's over. I don't have to read the rest of the godforsaken book with a microscope anymore.

Scanner Surprises

Once upon a time, I came upon this silly thing on the web that said in not so polite words that kids drawings usually suck. Well, here's a drawing that was done by my wife and colored by my little sister.

It really isn't bad, I must say. I admit the belly area does bear some likeness to myself. Also, my little sister didn't go past the lines. Much.

Early Experiments with Photoshop

This is an early experiment I did for my wife using Photoshop. The picture was taken in low light with a point and shoot digicam. At the time, I thought that you could correct everything even if you had bad capture. How mistaken I was! Anyway, I think things turned out well in the end, and I still think my wife looks pretty in this picture.

Window Dressing

Funny how we've developed Filipino legalese and yet refuse to acknowledge its existence. For example, the term nagbibista seems like a throwback to the Spanish Audencia, but I'm not entirely sure. This notice, for instance, was last seen in the halls of Pasig's Regional Trial Courts.

Hotel Stays

I think I owe an explanation for people who regularly visit and wonder what the hell I've been doing. Well, here's a clue: I've been studying. :D

We holed up last week in Linden Suites to prepare a pleading for Public International Law. The footnoting of the pleading was really shabby, with shabby being an understatement. The important thing is that people had fun and were on the same page.

Oral arguments will be heard on Tuesday, with adjudication expected that same day. I hope to good god we win.

Signs of the Times No. 3

This is an actual drink stand in Shopwise Libis. Is it just me or is there something really, really wrong with this picture? Note the bloodshot eyes on the wily lizard.